Running out of time.

I'm at the point where all I want to do is scream.

I am sick of jobs falling through, of people not willing to give us a chance, and of stupid excuses. I'm frustrated with trying to find "God's will for my life." Or just trying to find Him period. I keep being told that God has something better for us and that He will come through in His perfect timing. Really? Really?

I've been searching for jobs for the last eight hours... nothing. No editing jobs, no pastor jobs. Nothing. I just want to be close to family and have some sort of job that I feel accomplished with, not like I'm wasting myself.

I want to see my husband use his talents, live out his passion, not to see him destroyed and defeated. I see his potential and to see him doubting himself makes me want to scream. All we need is a chance. Both of us, our own. We can do this...

But, instead, we are stuck with the mundane. I am inside these four walls of my apartment, going crazy, and wasting time. I don't understand this. I don't know how it's going to end up. But we're running out of time. A month and a half until we have to move, have to do something. God better come through.