House Hunting... Or Just Dreaming

Can you picture a beagle in the front yard? I can... :)
I really want this house.. Looks like a steal.. Hmm..
Just not sure if we're ready for this part of life quite yet, but I can dream, can't I?

Life Beyond the Institution

Well, graduation went smoothly. Diploma is still nowhere to be seen. However, one week after graduation, I was laid off from my job. Wonderful present. But, it presented me with the chance to go home for a few days.

Missouri is so much better in summer. I relaxed for the first time in many years. The best part of the trip was just laying in the boat, soaking up the sun, and taking in the radiant "mountains" that I love and miss the most. Spending time with family was the second best. My dad, brother, best friend, cousin/should be sister. Crazy adventures of whipping out my wedding dress to take pictures in an open field. Country music blaring in the background. Pineapple whip. Nothing better.

I did miss the hubbyman, I suppose. We take off to Indiana this weekend to check out our future church. I'm praying all goes well because I don't want to begin this process for the third time in a row. I just want to move somewhere, settle. Now, if only I could get that publishing job that I can't get my mind off of. Trusting God is hard sometimes.

Until then, I have the urge to continue working on the memoir that I began as my senior project. My struggles against divorce and my own marriage. It needs to be out there, that hope and determination. Kids of divorce do not need to live oppressed lives. They can break the mold. So here we go...

Anxiety

I graduate tomorrow, and am dreading it more than anything. Not because it means that I have to get a job or because I'm scared of falling flat on my face, because I really honestly don't want my family to be there. All major events in  my life have been wrecked with their drama, and I would really love something like this in my life to just go smoothly. I'm crossing my fingers and praying that I don't have to step into any fights, listen to snippy comments, or defuse ridiculous rumors. I trust that everyone can be grownups and behave themselves, but a huge part of me is worried sick. So much so that I'd rather they just not be here at all. 

As for the rest of life, school ended so easily, hardly any tests, no papers. It was wonderful. Now, I'm just working until we move. I'm sick of my job and kind of sick of life. I just want things to get on the move. I'm ready to be someplace different, to settle down, to find a job that I love. I'm just praying God works everything out perfectly. I feel like if we accept a position, and we know it's the right one, then he'll provide an awesome job for me. I'm praying anyways. 

Other than that, not much going on, just the hecticness of graduation and balancing three families. It's going to be a stressful next three days! :/